Just A Man
by Grevola
Summary: Heero muses on how people percive him. Reviews welcome, one of my personal favorites


Just a Man  
  
I know that I can never expect to be forgiven. My hands are too stained and my thoughts impure. So many burden me with the title of savior. They look at me as thought I can do no wrong. And when the men who sat behind desks and gave orders are contemned for war crimes, I am allowed to go free, the conquering 'hero'. How ironic that my name reflects a false image of me. I do not need forgiveness. I have understanding and that is all that any one can hope for. It follows that I would be close to the other five Gundam pilots. But I am not as close as it seems. I hold a great deal of respect for them, as pilots and as people.  
  
Wufei and I would not see each other at all if the others didn't arrange gatherings from time to time. It's not that I dislike him, rather we do not have so much in common. He has always been a scholar by nature, and with the fighting done he has been slowly returning to that profession. I have always been a solider.  
  
Quatre, despite his empathy, sometimes has trouble seeing me for who I am. He is at times caught up in the... glamour that I acquired when I won the war. Or perhaps it is just his nature to deny that some one can be as cold as I am.  
  
Trowa and I have actually become close friends. He was always the most observant of us, and he has taken to recording his observations by sketching them. Similarly I have taken to writing. He is also my preferred partner for chess, as he and I are of a comparable level.  
  
Zechs, yes he is also counted in this grouping of pilots, is another story all together. Between us lie strong competitive feelings, as well as a deep respect. Fighting with him has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. Without some one to constantly test yourself against, your skills dull. The nature of our competition, however, has ensured that we do not see each other but perhaps once every two years. More often, and any sort of peace between us would be impossible. As Releana once said, we must fight each other so that no others will fight.  
  
And what about the last pilot, you are wondering. What about the young pilot of Gundam 02, Deathscythe? Duo and I are very close. He is the only one of the others who understands me. Never does he look at me like a hero, pardon the pun. After I returned from my confrontation with the Libra he grinned at me and said "What the hell did you think you were doing out there, Yuy?!" After words he congratulated me on surviving, but he never made me feel idolized. I asked him once if he ever felt the need to compete with me and he said "Nah, I've got skills you can only envy, so we're even." And that is true. Perhaps I am better at fighting one on one battles, but he can deal with people in daily circumstances. People can relate to him better than they can to me, even if they do tend to find him morbid and harsh. Duo? Morbid? You seem surprised, but what do you expect from a child who says "I don't believe in God 'cause I ain't never seen a miracle, but I've seen lots and lots of dead people."  
  
It was Duo, who told me a handful of words that changed my life. Releana had been giving a speech on the anniversary of world peace when she mentioned that I "...came to Earth like a heaven sent angle..." It's words like those that make me angry, but for the longest time I couldn't understand why. That was until Duo grabbed my arm before I could storm out of the ceremony. "You are no-one's angel, Heero Yuy."  
  
I am no-one's angel. I am not pure, I am not a servant of some God I cannot touch, I am just a man, and that is all I really want to be. Not a hero, not an idol, not an angle, not a demon. Just a man. And with Duo, that is exactly how I feel.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone recognizable, just this jumble of words. Please ask before taking, thank you, and have a nice day.  
  
Author's Note: This is sort of my rant against some of the stereotypes for the characters that I see time and again in otherwise wonderful fanfictons. No offense is meant if you fall into that category, I probably do to. Any way, please tell me what you think so that I can improve my writing.  
  
G'Vola 


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